Political Doublespeak For Robots and Pinocchios

The passage I refer to is a quote from Dean Del Maestro, the parliamentary secretary for Prime Minister Harper. He is responding to Opposition leader Bob Rae's questioning in the House today (Monday, March 5, 2011).

1. Ensure that the statement includes more clauses and parts of speech than a grade 10 English textbook. Let your meaning seem obvious... But let your statement be impenetrable.

“When will he make those phone records public? Because I believe when those phone records are made public, the Liberal Party will have fingered itself for each and every one of these calls that they allege had taken place.” -Dean Del Mastro, March 5, 2011

2. When taking heat, defer attention of listeners towards opposition:

“When will he make those phone records public?"

3. Do not make a truth-binding statement about reality that might haunt you later on. Avoid doing so by stating a belief, a thought, a suspicion, popular knowledge, etc.:

"Because I believe..."

4. Further cloud your statement by the use of conditionals. "If...then", "when...then", etc.:

"when those phone records are made public, the Liberal Party will have fingered itself..."

5. Any accusation should be shrouded and indirect so as to not backfire. Metaphors, conditionals, ambiguous meanings and insinuations rule supreme here.

"when those phone records are made public, the Liberal Party will have fingered itself for each and every one of these calls that they allege had taken place.”

Note: "will have fingered itself" - This statement suggests that the Liberals will be the ones who had carried out the calls in question. But it in no way explicitly states this. If taken literally, this statement means something entirely different... something entirely unconnected to the question of blame.

See the full news story that this passage appears in: "Tories demand Liberals release call records – but refuse to follow suit" - Gloria Galloway (The Globe and Mail, March 5, 2011)