Political Doublespeak For Robots and Pinocchios

The passage I refer to is a quote from Dean Del Maestro, the parliamentary secretary for Prime Minister Harper. He is responding to Opposition leader Bob Rae's questioning in the House today (Monday, March 5, 2011).

1. Ensure that the statement includes more clauses and parts of speech than a grade 10 English textbook. Let your meaning seem obvious... But let your statement be impenetrable.

“When will he make those phone records public? Because I believe when those phone records are made public, the Liberal Party will have fingered itself for each and every one of these calls that they allege had taken place.” -Dean Del Mastro, March 5, 2011

2. When taking heat, defer attention of listeners towards opposition:

“When will he make those phone records public?"

3. Do not make a truth-binding statement about reality that might haunt you later on. Avoid doing so by stating a belief, a thought, a suspicion, popular knowledge, etc.:

"Because I believe..."

4. Further cloud your statement by the use of conditionals. "If...then", "when...then", etc.:

"when those phone records are made public, the Liberal Party will have fingered itself..."

5. Any accusation should be shrouded and indirect so as to not backfire. Metaphors, conditionals, ambiguous meanings and insinuations rule supreme here.

"when those phone records are made public, the Liberal Party will have fingered itself for each and every one of these calls that they allege had taken place.”

Note: "will have fingered itself" - This statement suggests that the Liberals will be the ones who had carried out the calls in question. But it in no way explicitly states this. If taken literally, this statement means something entirely different... something entirely unconnected to the question of blame.

See the full news story that this passage appears in: "Tories demand Liberals release call records – but refuse to follow suit" - Gloria Galloway (The Globe and Mail, March 5, 2011)

A Memory from Customs at Narita Airport, Tokyo

I had quite the experience while proceeding through Japanese Customs in 2002. After having lifted away from the thick, hot air of Seoul, I landed at Narita dead tired from the previous evening in the capital of South Korea. My introduction to soju was swift.

Picture a 16-year-old blonde kid, surrounded by Koreans and Japanese businessmen and families. Here I am stepping off a flight from Seoul... alone. As I approached the Customs official, the last remnants of soju reminded me of how early the flight was. I stepped up to the desk and handed the big Japanese man my passport.

As he sized up my travel stamps, he saw that I had traveled from South Korea alone, and began to interrogate me about my travels. Being as calm as any 16 year old in a Customs line possibly could be, I explain that I was staying with a friend in Korea, and that now I would be staying with friends in Niigata. He continued to ask more questions, and I continued to give him several variations on the same theme.

After a few minutes of this, he told me he is opening my bag to check through my luggage, to which I agreed. He cut the tie-wrap sealing the zipper and began combing through my clothes and souveniers. I had some whiskey and soju to give as gifts in Japan, but I had already declared them. So that was no concern! But then all of a sudden, the officer lets out a gasp as he pulls from my luggage....

A Maxim magazine! Nani desuka??? The tension of the situation rose at a very... unreasonable rate. He began speaking over me in harsh tones, and entirely in Japanese. I was able to make out "pornography?" in his words. So as he was asking me a question, I tried to reply that it is not at all pornographic! It seemed almost silly at the time, as if I had been called into the principal's office at elementary school.

I offered to show him the contents of the magazine, in order to prove my point. Then I proceeded to flip through the pages, showing him articles and some very nice--non-nude--photos. I even got a smile on his face. By the end he was convinced that it's all ok, and that the magazine is not what he'd expected. With that, the officer decided I was free to go.


He still took the magazine though!

Three Years of IPSA - Article from De Wijzer, April 2011

When I was asked to write a bit about my experience in Leuven for De Wijzer, I knew exactly what I would be discussing: The International Philosophy Student’s Association (IPSA). I want to share some of the experiences I have had while working on making IPSA all that it has become. First, though, l want to put out the disclaimer that anything I might have done to establish and build this organization would have meant nothing if it weren’t for the great people around me. So a big shout-out is in order:

If it weren’t for their encouragement, I would never have started (thanks, Stijn and the ’08-‘09 NFK praesidium!).

If it weren’t for their hard work, I would never have been able to lead it where it went. (thanks, especially, to the IPSA ANGELS of ’09-’10, Dziugas, Liesbeth, Ryan, Thérèse, and every other person ever involved in organizing IPSA!)

If it weren’t for their support and inspiration, I would never have had the will power to step up during rough moments. (Thanks to NFK praesidia of all three years, the faculty at HIW, and the people at LOKO International!)

If it weren’t for their smiling faces showing up at our events, I would have had no reason to do it in the first place. (Thanks to you all!)

We have had some fantastic times together. And while at times our organization does not live up to its true potential due to lack of initiative among many of the students, there are still these magical moments that make it all worth it. Last year was filled with them. For me, perhaps the most magical of these moments was the theatre/rock benefit event at which we raised 200 Euros for an AIDS orphanage in Mombasa. I will always look back at that night and be filled with inspiration and joy, and I challenge you to organize a similar event! This year has not been without its own magical moments. Our colloquia have been thought-provoking and inspirational to everyone present. The IPSA/NFK coordinated Open Mic held in March of this year was a success, both in quality and quantity. It was wonderful to see old and new friends freely expressing themselves up on stage, and of course it was a pleasure to do so myself too!

There are so many experiences that have built up over these years with IPSA that it would be hard to do it any justice in a brief article. But I suppose that what would really do IPSA justice is to keep it alive, keep it growing, and let it flourish under the care of new students. It has been exceedingly difficult to pass leadership on, however. With new students coming in each year, with absolutely no idea about what IPSA is or even what Leuven is all about in general, it’s quite difficult to recruit a new group for leadership each year. I think what most directly contributed to last year’s success was the recruitment efforts taken at the very beginning of the year: along with Dziugas and Efe’s great help at student orientation, the help of the legendary party planner Matthew Barton gave way to an infamous start of year moustache party. What was it that got the most attention? FREE BEER!

Alas, my time in Leuven is coming close to an end, and with thesis work dominating my attention it is no longer possible for me to continue taking the lead. I can only hope that other students will see the value in organizing themselves around the IPSA name. If you want an amazing experience that will teach you more life lessons than you know, and if you want to get funding while you are at it, then just make it happen! All you need to do is get people’s attention at the beginning of the year, showing the potential of a good student group. Read here: throw a good party, and they will come! Then you’ve got to organize and delegate. People have parties, nights out, soccer matches, reading groups, and so on all the time… why not organize these officially with IPSA? Why not accept funding? The institute website advertises their International Philosophy Student’s Association, so why not embrace it? It is waiting to become whatever you want to make of it. Challenge yourself. You might be surprised at what you discover… I know I have!


JB

(Original article posted on page 10:Three Years of IPSA)